Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
