and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
