Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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