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the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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