Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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