I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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