If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
