What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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