How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
