So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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