I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
