omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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