i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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