Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
