If that was your dad, he is hot
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
