Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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