What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
