Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
