He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't deserve a penis
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
