Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
