My sheets look like a crime scene.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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