so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
