This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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