would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
