We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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