whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
