Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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