In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
