2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
