it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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