How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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