I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
