got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
