so explain again why im purple
no
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
