scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
