thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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