it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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