Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
