he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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