can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
