Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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