we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You have to summon your inner elephant
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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