Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
