Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
