So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
