it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
