Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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