Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
