If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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