How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
