Sponge bath it is.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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