its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
