You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
