HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
